The most terrifying experience of my life AKA That time I thought I hallucinated a baboon

if you read my guide to the Garden Route of South Africa, you’ll see that this trip pushed me further out of my comfort zone than any other experience in my life.

the beginning of it was dragging myself out of my comfortable, perfect, cape town bubble. the grand finale was jumping off of the world’s tallest bungee bridge (stay tuned for that blog post).

but in the middle of the trip was when my courage was tested the most — i think i blacked out in fear. why? i was going canyoning! and i love adventure! and i am down for anything! so it should be fun, right?

to be honest, when i linked up with Africanyon for their 4-hour canyoning tour about 15 mins outside of plettenberg bay, i had no idea what i was getting into.

i didn’t know what canyoning was. i’ve gone caving before in barbados and guatemala so i thought it would be a similar level of adventure as that.

it was not.

it was traumatic.

i cried.

twice.

but it was… character building. it forced me to conquer fear like i never have before, and for this i am so freaking proud of myself.

canyoning is basically making your way through a canyon in a variety of ways — abseiling, jumping off cliffs, wading, swimming, ziplining, whatever. you do what you gotta do.

our first mission was to abseil down a cliff. which involves being strapped into a harness, and rappelling yourself backwards down a cliff. DO YOU KNOW HOW UNNATURAL IT IS TO STEP BACKWARDS ON A FLAT CLIFF-FACE WHILE YOUR BODY IS PERPENDICULAR TO THE ROCK?

i was losing it. i have never sworn so much in such a short period of time. i was shaking, giving myself an out-loud pep talk. i realized in real time that i’ve never actually given myself a pep talk before. “okay, kellie. you can do this. deep breaths.”

more than once, i called to my guides, “WHAT DO I DO NOW?” when i felt like there was nowhere to feasibly place my foot without falling flat down the cliff. the answer, i knew, was to keep placing my feet behind each other. duh. there was literally nothing else i could do. but it didn’t seem that easy when i was strung down the canyon.

rappelling backwards down a cliff was scary enough in itself. but a few steps in, my worst nightmare happened.

guys, i have a thing with baboons. a baboon phobia. i have seen many try to aggressively steal elderly ladies’ purses at the Cape of Good Hope. one time one tried to jump in my safari vehicle in Kenya and i screamed and hoisted myself halfway out the window. like to me, baboons are the devil.

so i’m walking backwards down this cliff, absolutely petrified, and all of a sudden (i can’t remember if i saw it or if people told me, i was blacked out in terror) there is the world’s biggest demon baboon a few metres away on the cliff across from me.

AS IF. the creature i despise the most is showing up just as i’m in the middle of my most terrifying moment.

i saw it, screamed and swore really loudly which apparently scared it away, and blocked it out of my mind as i forced one foot behind the other, i knew i just had to get down that cliff.

when i reached flat ground i was crying and suddenly remembered the baboon. i asked my guide if it was actually there or if i just hallucinated it. he confirmed the baboon existed IRL.

the canyoning went on, i cried once more when i had to jump off a really high cliff. by this point i was just OVER IT.

and then i started to enjoy it.

i like swimming, i like ziplining, there were no more high jumps and definitely no more abseiling, no more baboons (although you better believe i was on the lookout the entire time), and the people in my group and my Africanyon guides were SO NICE and patient and supportive.

i will never forget that, glad i did it, but good on abseiling and baboons for a bit. especially the combo of the two.