What I’ve Learned About Black Lives Matter

i’m sure this isn’t the blog you expected me to post today, since a) this is a travel blog and b) i just wrapped up an epic trip in the rocky mountains, but there’s nothing like a good solo road trip to get your mind clear and focus on what’s important.

for starters, Black lives.

throughout the recent uprising and global movement to fight racism, i have been processing, educating myself, and speaking out in the ways that felt right to me: i have had tough conversations with my friends and family, attended a protest, been very vocal on social media, i wrote an article called A letter to my favourite country: We need to talk, worked with writers to edit a bunch more relevant articles, etc. i, like the rest of the world, have been through a “racial awakening” — realizing the severity of racism, my role in it as a white person, and a flood of emotions including massive amounts of guilt for not stepping up to the plate sooner, and still not doing enough. it’s been a process.

but this is my blog, it’s my space, it’s my platform, so i wanted to put something up. it didn’t feel right to leave this part of my life out of here. the events of 2020 have been a HUGE learning experience for me (and a lot of the world) i thought i would write down what i’ve learned in the midst of the Black Lives Matter movement.

couple things off the bat — this post isn’t perfect. i am actually just rambling off my thoughts, which honestly don’t even scratch the surface, and i’m not going into depth to proofread this or include my resources or everything that’s resonated with me. i just wanted to share something from this very important and pivotal time.

some of this may be controversial. some of my fellow anti-racists may not agree. some of my racist friends, whether they’re able to admit it or not, will not agree. some of it may not be fully correct or the terms may be off but i am trying my best and this is what resonates with me. also, i’m going to refer to Black lives specifically, but much of this applies to People of Colour and Indigenous people as well. it also applies to many other marginalized groups. i can only hope every one of these groups gets the same spotlight as Black Lives Matter movement has gotten this spring/summer, which i found to be absolutely gutting and heart-wrenching and a massive wake up call felt across the world, but also quite inspiring and uplifting and left me with hope. some change has been made, i know i personally will never view racism again the same way and will be acting on it accordingly, and of course there is MUCH change left to be made. it’s a CONSTANT work in progress and we are nowhere near where we need to be. but i’ve felt this “awakening” has been a step in the right direction.

so why now? sometimes it takes a personal connection to wake us up to a cause. sometimes it’s a visual that punches us in a gut and reveals what’s been happening to us all along. George floyd’s murder struck a chord with many of us, and although i had an inkling this kind of thing had been happening all along, i’ve seen the news, i’ve felt it was horrible, of course, but i never realized it was my problem before.

which leads me into the things i’ve learned.

racism IS my problem

as i mentioned, i’ve always heard or read of racism of our past, recent police brutality, and i’ve been tuned in on some racial microaggressions, and have been horrified. that’s obviously not okay with me. but i thought it wasn’t my problem — i’m not racist, i’m a nice person. i would like to think i would stand up against racism if i saw it blatantly causing harm in front of my face.

but i have realized that being a passive bystander and staying silent all these years means i AM contributing to the problem. it is not enough to be not racist; we must be anti-racist. do you think Black people wanted it to be their problem? they didn’t ask to be enslaved, opressed, killed by cops. it’s not THEIR problem. it’s white people that did this. so it is our problem. and it is on us to fix it.

it’s not only idiots and assholes who are racists

i can’t be the only one who thought that racists are just dumb ignorant people who don’t know any better and don’t understand one of the most basic human contracts, which is to treat others how you want to be treated and that we are all equal. i really thought anyone who thought less of someone because of their skin colour was the worst type of human and i didn’t know if i had ever seen this in person.

but racism isn’t always obvious or as drastic. i have identified trends of racism within myself. one of the kindest people i know is racist. system racism means that racism is so ingrained in our world that we don’t even know it’s happening, we don’t realize we’ve been exposed to it our whole lives and you can have the best heart and still be unintentionally racist.

i am not guilt-free of racism

one of the things that has resonated with me is that IGNORANCE IS A CHOICE. if you are choosing not to educate yourself on these topics, when there is world of resources at your fingertips, you are choosing to be ignorant.

educating myself on what terms like systemic racism, racial microaggressions, white privilege, and white supremacy mean has made me realize circumstances, even in the past few months, that were unintentionally racist. 

for example, in cape town someone said something about how all the working class were Black. servers at restaurants, house help, etc. i was like “oh i never really thought about it, of course there’s a divide, but i don’t see colour. i didn’t notice it.” i realize now i was colour blind and that is one of the things that allow the problem to persist. i also heard people say racist things and let it slide. i wasn’t educated on the situation or the topic to feel confident to speak up.

now, you better believe i will be speaking up.

but it’s a learning process. it’s something i constantly need to check myself on. some people may be reading this article and thinking i’m centering myself and need to check my white privilege. it’s something we all need to constantly work on.

speaking up is hard, but that is no excuse

before i posted my first Instagram post about racism, i was terrified. i felt this gut feeling that i needed to say something; i was too disturbed by George Floyd’s murder and some personal conversations i had had. i am quite vocal on social media and in person and feel quite confident in my point of views, but i was scared to say the wrong thing, i knew there was so much i didn’t know about racism, people were throwing resources left, right, and centre, it was overwhelming.

but i posted something. and i got no negative backlash, in fact i got some positive responses from some of my most intelligent, open-minded, dialed-in friends. that’s always a good sign. so i posted again, then i posted a black square (which did come with some backlash), then i just posted whenever the hell i wanted. whenever i saw a post that resonated with me, framed things in a way i hadn’t considered before, or felt was important, i posted it. i’ve seen those people on social media before and thought they were a bit much. but you get to a point where the people who don’t “get it”, are the people that are choosing to be ignorant. and i’m not here to cater to those people.

i just kept thinking: if this is so hard for me to talk about, imagine how hard it’s been for Black people to try and speak up about racism THEIR WHOLE LIVES? if i chose to stay silent and opt out of doing anything or saying anything, how privileged is that??? DON’T YOU THINK GEORGE FLOYD’S FAMILY WISHES THEY COULD OPT OUT OF THIS BULLSHIT??? Black people didn’t ask to be put in this situation either.

it is v rare for someone to be the exact same type of anti racist as you

i know like maybe 3 who are on my exact same wavelength. some anti-racists on social media are too much for me, and i had to mute them. which is fine. some didn’t appear to fully understand or weren’t doing enough, but i know they’re not racist. that’s also fine.

which leads me to my next point…

a waste of time = anti-racists coming at other anti-racists

“some are posting on social media.
some are protesting in the streets.
some are donating silently. 
some are educating themselves.
some are having difficult conversations with friends and family. 

a revolution has many lanes — be kind to yourself and to others who are travelling in the same direction.

just keep your foot on the gas”

this is one of the quotes i saw that resonated with me.

there is no proven solution to ending racism. if there was, i hope to god it would’ve been done by now. every little bit can help, everything can resonate with someone else in a different way. unpopular opinion but one of the things that pissed me off the most was the shade at the people who posted a black square. at least they’re DOING SOMETHING. you don’t know what they’re doing behind the scenes. you don’t know how hard it maybe was to post in the first place, cause they’re terrified of saying something wrong, or maybe it was the first step they needed towards ongoing efforts. for me, it was the largest collective display of solidarity i’d ever seen on social media — maybe it did attract some attention in a way that an in-person protest would. at least it caused a stir.

moral of the story is, don’t come at other anti-racists even if it’s not your personal style. do your thing, just don’t do nothing.

white privilege is a thing, across the board, no exceptions

white privilege doesn’t mean you’ve been gifted advantages in your life. it doesn’t mean you haven’t had to work hard to get where you are or that you haven’t been through struggles or that those struggles are not valid. 

it just means your life isn’t made harder because of your skin colour.

if you haven’t had to fear for your life when being pulled over by a cop for a speeding ticket, that’s white privilege. if you don’t have to google how racist a country is before you travel there, that’s white privilege. if your resume isn’t being tossed out because of the ethnicity implied by your name, that’s white privilege. it goes so deep.

white privilege is in the official Band-Aid brand only coming out with multiple colours THIS YEAR. white privilege is on the OG Barbie doll — the symbol of beauty to young girls — being a white skinny blonde chick. white privilege is being taught that the peach crayon was “skin colour” in school. white privilege is most of our childhood TV shows having an all-white cast. it goes on and on. and on.

workplace diversity needs to be a conscious effort

in South Africa there is this thing called Black Economic Empowerment, which offers certain priorities to Black people to try and rectify the effects of apartheid. you can google for details. i’d heard of it, assumed the government had their reasons, but didn’t give it much thought. 

now i understand it a lot better.

systemic racism means that Black ppl have had access to less opportunities, less income, lower education, etc. they are starting out disadvantaged due to years of oppression. not to mention the toll of having to deal with racism all of these years. there is no even playing ground, not in the States, not in Canada, and certainly not in South Africa, where Black people were shut out by law 25 years ago.

i’ve learned, or at least it is my perspective, that if there is a Black and a white person going for the same job, even if white person appears more qualified, going with that candidate fuels white supremacy. employers, systems, everyday people, must make a conscious effort to fight to dismantle white privilege and give opportunities for Black people to reverse the effects of all these years of oppression and racism.

it is essential to prioritize diversity, but in the right way

so of course a ton of Black ppl are now receiving all these calls and opportunities because companies wanna be more diverse. as a freelancer i realize i barely have a right to speak up on this but again, it’s my blog so here i am. diversifying a workplace must be genuine. it must be long term and lasting. it must come from the right place and not be performative. it’s not a simple fix.

it must start at the top

this was a big realization that came to me later on in this whole uprising. hiring more Black employees, yes, gives them more opportunity and creates more diversity. but it also fuels white supremacy. it still says hey you work for me, a white person, you’re my subordinate. real change must place Black people at the top level.

last night i was having a conversation about a new native reserve being introduced by a major town in BC. i haven’t done any research on this so don’t quote me on this, but my reaction is that’s great, they should be given more land, but in a way isn’t it just like hey, you guys can now come live on these white people’s land? we’re doing you a favour, you’re welcome? immersion needs to be approached very thoughtfully and carefully.

if someone perceives you as racist, drop that behaviour from your life

i have two examples here.

one time i posted that a Black lady’s speech was very powerful and articulate. i was informed that the word “articulate” is a racial microaggression, implying that i would expect her not to be well-spoken because she’s Black.

of course, i meant it in a complimentary way, and the person who told me that knew that. my gut reaction was to feel defensive, but i could understand that perspective, had actually seen that on a post about racial microaggressions before, so you know what, it’s easy for me to drop that word from my vocab. done.

the other one is the n-word. i’ve heard some great explanations about why white people must not say this under any circumstances, and it makes total sense. it’s like how girls say to each other “hey bitch, that’s my bitch” but if a random man said that to you it’s offensive. it’s like how your lover can call you their “hun” but under a different context, it’s passive-aggressive. it is all about context. Black people have taken back the word that was used derogatorily against them, it is now under their power, and they can say it however the hell they want. but us white people (our ancestors, likely, but same diff) are the ones who used it that way, so we do not get to say it. end of story.

if not being able to sing a few drake lyrics is the worst of my problems, that’s something my privileged ass can get over.

All Lives Matter is a pile of ignorant, selfish bullshit

i didn’t fully understand this before. NOW I DO. of COURSE all lives matter. saying Black Lives Matter is not saying all lives don’t. the movement was created specifically for Black people, who have faced enslavement, segregation, oppression, brutality at the hands of our law officers, and so much more throughout the history of our society. THEY DESERVE THAT MOVEMENT. we can all agree, right???

so using the same wording to say all lives matter is a direct dig at Black Lives Matter. saying “<<insert any word other than Black>> lives matter” is undermining and detracting attention away from the Black Lives Matter movement, which implies you don’t think they deserve that damn moment in the spotlight. THIS IS NOT ABOUT YOU.

i get VVVVV riled up about this but moving on.

2020 has been a telling year: good and bad

all of this has really shown some people’s true colours: it’s shown who is actually racist or ignorant or doesn’t get it. it’s shown who isn’t able to open up their mind, set aside their egos, and rest their defenses. it’s shown who is open to educating themselves and grow and be humble and empathetic.

it’s also brought me so much closer to some of my friends and even insta friends i’ve never met. people who are open-minded, intelligent, dialed-in, compassionate, who get it.i’m so grateful for that.

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the list does not end here, but i am going to wrap this up for now. hope everyone is doing well and continuing to fight the good fight. <3