That time the Amazon chewed me up and spit me out

guys. the amazon is no joke.

i’ve been to jungles before. i trudged through leech-infested waters on a night walk in borneo. i dodged tarantulas and will-kill-you-if-you-dont-make-it-to-the-hospital-in-45-minutes spiders in costa rica. i woke up with a cockroach running across my lips in thailand. like my comfort zone has DRASTICALLY expanded over the past few years, coming from someone who used to call her parents if she saw a daddy long-leg in her apartment.

but the amazon is not just any jungle. it is the mother of all jungles. and you should be prepared. i was semi prepared, but it still chewed me up and spit me out.

this blog post has taken me awhile to write and it’s now actually been a month since i entered the Amazon. a lot of this is because i’ve been busy — went to maui to meet my family, finished up #wanderlustandwifi, now am back at home in abbotsford and have been busy soaking in family time, seeing friends in vancouver and victoria, and doing other types of writing. building my empire, ya know.

but the other reason is because my amazon experience was crazy and to be honest i still don’t totally feel like i’ve processed it.

it was hard. it was hot. it was sweaty. it was humid af. i was covered in mosquito repellent and sweat the entire time, and just kept layering it all on. i did a tour because it’s hard to do the amazon solo, but i didn’t meet any besties like i did on basically every other place on my trip, and i think that was hard. the people really do make the experience. it was one of those trips where i knew when i was on it that i wouldn’t fully appreciate it until after.

as challenging as it was, the amazon has been on my bucket list for awhile and i’m so glad i did it. i wanted to see a different lifestyle, i wanted to see indigenous communities, i wanted to see sloths and pink dolphins and a real jungle — and i got all that. i saw a LOT. it was loco.

i’ll take this blog post as an opportunity to share the logistics of my trip and what i did, and also try and work through in my head what the hell went down over there. lol.

Getting to the Amazon

I flew from Salento (Armenia airport) to Leticia, which is the Colombian gateway to the Amazon. it’s a teeny town tucked in the southern corner of Colombia bordering Brazil and Peru. Like Brazil is a 10-minute walk away and Peru is right across the river. so cool.

i booked my 3-day, 2-night tour through Amazonas Fronteras (kinda hard to explore the Amazon solo), and Aimara was sooo helpful in coordinating, scheduling, helping me join a group, and answering questions on what to bring.

What to bring to the Amazon

Lots of mosquito repellent. i went through half a bottle in 3 days.
So so so much water. Dehydration station.
Baggy long sleeves and pants. The mosquitos will bite through if you’re wearing tight clothing.
A hat. i bought one in Leticia and it was sooo necessary to shade me from the sun.
You’ll need to wear high boots pretty much all the time because you’re either trudging through mud or tall grass or jungles where there are snakes and spiders.
A poncho is necessary to keep with you at all times — you’re in a rainforest, and Mother Nature does not provide much warning for a downpour.

Leticia

of all the places i went on #wanderlustandwifi, if there is anywhere that i NEEDED nice accommodation, it would have been before and after my Amazonian adventure — and Hotel Amazon Bed and Breakfast was exactly what i needed. i stayed here one night in Leticia, then 2 nights in the jungle, and then stayed one more night at the hotel after the tour.

i cannot tell you how amazing it was to have a nice and safe hotel, my own room, nice shower, big bed, amazing breakfast, and my own space to air out my disgusting clothes after 3 days in the jungle. i would totally recommend this hotel.

Leticia as a town is what i expected — it’s whatever. not a ton of tourists, not a ton going on, got a lot of weird looks, lots of cops patrolling the streets. this was also probably due to the upcoming protests. but yeah kinda weird vibes, i mostly just chilled in the hotel. also ate at a restaurant called Tierras Amazonicas which i would defs recommend.

Into the Amazon

We took a 2-hour boat ride to Puerto Nariño, which is like the main town of the Colombian Amazon. there are 22 indigenous communities on the Amazon, and they all come to Puerto Nariño for certain needs and kids attend school there. their daily commute to school is a boat ride on the Amazon River.

Puerto Nariño wasn’t the off-grid vibes i was looking for in the Amazon, but it does feel pretty remote — i think there are like 1,800 people, 2 motorized vehicles in the village, one wifi spot. life here very much revolves around the river.

day 1 in the Amazon: Puerto Nariño town and accommodation.

we strolled the town and cruised on the boat through the jungle, where we saw a freaking anaconda that had been chopped up into 3 pieces. we saw 2 of the pieces — the head was missing. maybe it was attacking fishers and they had to kill it or maybe someone attacked it. i have no idea. but it was quite alarming.

the jungle is thick and dense and awesome, and it was cool to cruise through it. there are massive trees with roots above the water. i also noticed all the boats are SO LOW to the river and water constantly had to be scooped out.

After the sun went down in Puerto Nariño we headed into the jungle for a night walk, where we saw a lot of spiders in all their varieties, as well as a salamander and a chameleon. we then had dinner — always the same meal of fried fish, oily rice, a couple leaves of cabbage or “salad,” and always a fresh fruit juice. i did not love the food in the Amazon, guys.

Popping into Peru

Day 2 we went into the islands of Peru. casual. this is one of those days that i knew would be amazing in hindsight, but oh my god i was just so hot and dehydrated and exhausted. my feet were SUFFOCATING in the boots and i had only these baggy sweat pants i’d bought in Medellin — they were not. breathable.

anyway. we went across the river onto the island and it was very… peaceful. it was beautiful. went into the jungle and saw sloths super close up, and that truly was amazing. they are as adorable and sloooowwww moving as you’d hope.

went on a boat ride through a lilypad-dotted river, saw some parrots, explored the indigenous community where 200 people live (that was very cool and starting to feel more authentic), saw a spazzy snake that i decided was a good idea to let them put around my neck.

he looks concerned. should i be concerned?? i like a little more confidence outta people who are putting snakes around my neck.

for me, the day started to pick up after lunch, when we went dolphin viewing — pink dolphins are common here and can be found just outside of Puerto Nariño, but especially in Lake Tarapoto. There are also grey dolphins. we saw both, not very close up, but probably like 10 sightings overall.

night 2 accommodation in the amazon: an indigenous community of tarapoto with 14 homes, 14 inhabitants, no electricity. a generator is put on from 6-10pm to allow for light and, of course because it’s colombia, music. :)

then we headed into the jungle to our next night’s accommodation, at a community in Tarapoto with 14 homes and 42 inhabitants. obviously they get tourists there every day so it doesn’t feel totally authentic, but i did find a magical moment here where some children were playing in the river, jumping off the tree. a mom was sitting on a log washing her baby’s hair with the river water. these kids were having a BLAST, giggling at yelling “mirar!” at their mom — “watch!”.

we were told we could go swimming in the water, and i hesitated for a moment because the waters were pitch-black and i KNEW FIRSTHAND they were home to anacondas, caimans, and other freaky creatures just down the river. but it was safe here and if those little amazonian kiddos were doing it, who was i to say no?!

another incredible moment was that night going on a cruise looking for caimans. they are members of the alligator/crocodile fam, and can get up to 5 metres long — we saw the heads and beady eyes of a couple in the water and it was absolutely insane. they looked like statues and just the top of their floating heads was absolutely huge.

but the most badass part was a hunter from the village we were staying in, named Luis, came with us to seek out the caimans. i sat up front and followed his flashlight the entire time as he scanned the river for over an hour, as we cruised searching for caimans. the jungle was roaring with crickets, frogs, and lord knows what else, and it was so pitch black — i’ve never seen so many stars. we stopped and listened to the sounds of the jungle and it was amazing.

we had a couple false alarms where Luis saw a caiman but it disappeared underwater before we could come up close, but eventually we pulled the boat up to the river shore. he GOT OUT IN HIS FLIP FLOPS. IN THE PITCH-BLACK JUNGLE. WALKED OVER FOR LIKE 30 SECONDS AND CAME BACK WITH A CAIMAN IN HIS HAND. i have no idea what the hell happened over there, he must’ve seen one in the water and plunged in to grab its neck and take it to come show us. he is Tarzan i swear.

Sleeping in the jungle

in this indigenous community Tarapoto we were in a guest house that i thought was actually quite nice (i’ve stayed in some dinge ass hostels) — all the beds were neatly made and had mosquito nets. there is no electricity here but the hosts nicely lit candles for us and i thought it was pretty cute. but getting ready for bed was… interesting.

know how i mentioned my comfort zone has expanded?

we came back from dinner to see a scorpion in the sink. okay, cool. it’s stuck there, it’s fine, i’m used to seeing scorpions by now — i’ll stay away and i’ll be fine.

scorpion in the sink. safe to say i did not pause to take a photo of the rat i saw right after this.

but then i went to go pee and opened the curtain to one of the toilets. i heard some scuffling and my eyes met with a freaking rat that was scurrying up the wall.

that was it for me — i would hold it. no peeing before bed tonight.

i woke up at 3am having to pee like a racehorse (guess i was trying to stay hydrated) and was like okay kellie YOU-GOT-THIS. turned on my phone flashlight, untucked and slipped out of my mosquito net, headed to the bathroom.

this time i only saw a giant spider the size of my fist on the wall beside the toilet. the fact that i found this to be a relief compared to the scorpion or rat tells me a lot about my newfound standards for the heebie jeebies.

that’s basically it for my amazonian experience: one that i’ll always remember, but one that i don’t need to do again!

giant Ceiba tree, the largest in the Amazon. very cool.